How to Break-Up with Your ABA Employer


INTRODUCTION

Transitioning into independent practice presents some unique challenges, one of which may be ending the relationship you currently have as an employee. Making this change may feel like you are “breaking up” with the organization which could evoke a variety of emotions, including discomfort or guilt. Yet not all breakup experiences need to be negative. This article reviews 8 factors to consider when planning your break-up strategy to help you leave with grace and confidence.


1.  Plan ahead.

Once you’ve decided to go into independent practice, plan to have ongoing conversations with your immediate supervisor(s) or director(s) that include statements about your passions and desire for professional growth. This may help them to better understand what your general career goals are and lessen the surprise when you choose to leave to pursue them.

 

Most likely, you will also be working with a team that includes other professionals, caregivers, and clients. Prior to your end date, plan for how you will ethically and professionally transition cases over to another who can fulfill your role. If you have upcoming reports or need third-party authorization for services, plan for how these tasks could be completed or effectively transferred to another provider before you resign.

 

2.  Offer to aid in the transition. 

Try to aid in the transition by offering to train your replacement, being available for questions or advice, giving referrals for others who have expressed interest in your role, and/or creating onboarding documents for your current caseload. 

 

As an additional consideration, think about the timing of your resignation and try to transition during a less stressful time within the organization. For example, if there tends to be a lower turnover rate going into the summer months, then plan to leave during this time.

 

3.  Offer to give testimonials.

Consider offering to provide caregivers with a glowing review of their next clinician. In this case, you will need to be aware of who the clinician is and provide specific information about their strengths as a provider and how they will be a good fit for the client. This will likely ease the transition for all parties involved.

 

Also, consider offering to publicly write a recommendation for the organization on their social media pages. This could not only soften the conversation about you leaving but be an effective way to foster a new, more referral-based relationship.

 

4.  Have an “I hope we can still be friends” conversation.

In an ideal situation, you will exit the organization as a professional working for them but enter a relationship working with them. This is what I call the “I hope we can still be friends” conversation. Yes, it will likely be awkward, but also an opportunity to build a mutually beneficial professional relationship. To build this bridge, prepare to meet with the director and/or supervisor(s) to discuss what this new relationship could look like. In this conversation, describe your career goals and outline your niche, focusing on the ways your services fill a gap and could benefit the organization. For example, if the organization has a waitlist of clients that they are currently unable to serve, then offer to be a trusted reference. In return, you would equally refer clients to them who would be a great fit for their program (e.g., in need of intensive ABA services, available during a time gap, etc.).


5.  Or, have an “It’s not you, it’s me” conversation.

If you don’t feel the director or supervisor will be open to referring clients to you then have an “it’s not you, it’s me” conversation. In this case, avoid sharing too much information about what you will be doing in your practice and instead make general statements about your decision to leave. Focus solely on concise, clear, and specific points without stating what you didn’t enjoy about working for them. For example, “I have an opportunity I can’t pass up on”, “This is what’s best for my family”, or “I need to pursue a dream of mine”. 


6.  Write a “break-up” letter.

Although it is recommended you give initial notice in person, also write a resignation letter that states your reasons, how you’d like to maintain a professional relationship and your effective date. This is essentially your “break-up” letter and informs all necessary parties that you will be leaving the organization. As a professional courtesy, it is also recommended you follow these four rules:

  1.  Provide at least two or more weeks' notice

  2. Send the letter to all directors, core team members, and the HR office (when applicable)

  3. Date the letter with the current date and state your last day

  4. Keep an official copy in your files


7.  Exit with grace.

You never know if or when your path will cross with someone from the organization. Therefore, avoid burning any bridges on your way out by talking negatively about the things you didn’t like while working there. If you have supportive colleagues that you trust, take the opportunity to share your niche and future career goals. They will likely keep you in mind when your ideal client comes their way. 

 

In the case of an exit interview, it is okay to share suggestions for how the organization could improve but avoid venting. Also try to speak on who the company is right for, identifying the positive aspects of what the organization could offer another. For example, “This is a great company for BCBAs who are looking for experience with intensive early intervention services” or “This organization really helped me learn to work with a team”.


8.  Acknowledge your emotions.

Leaving an organization to forge your own path may evoke some negative emotions, such as guilt, sadness, or fear, but it is also likely to evoke positive feelings, such as relief, excitement, and optimism for the future. As a part of this process, take time to acknowledge what you are feeling, assess where any negative thoughts or feelings are coming from, and work to reframe them with a focus on the positive results your decision will have. You are embarking on the next phase of your career, filled with new and promising relationships. Lean into the change and embrace it! 



NEXT STEP

If you would like assistance with feelings of fear or doubt about launching your practice, check out our CEU course Overcoming Imposter Syndrome for more information about what characterizes this syndrome and how you can overcome it. Learn more here: LINK



REFERENCES

  1. How to Break Up With Your Employer; John Troy; July 25, 2017 https://workmonger.com/break-up-with-employer/
  2. How to Fearlessly-But Softly-Break Up with Your Job; Kanika Tolver; March 3, 2020 https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/345075
  3. How to Gracefully Break Up with a Boss to Kickstart Your Career; William Samayoa; November 27, 2020; https://medium.com/illumination/how-to-gracefully-break-up-with-a-boss-to-kickstart-your-career-fce2bf6bb7e5


Written April 2, 2022 - Updated November 11, 2023 By Charity Steele, MS, BCBA